Imagine being twelve hours away from your friend, and you receive their crying call. What will you do? Pack your bags and catch an emergency flight. You might, but it’s not always possible, right?
However, our phones have become the ultimate saviors. We can text and call someone right away and be there for them. This is such a blessing when you cannot hop on the train. However, many people don’t know how to comfort someone over text, which is why we are here. With this guide, we are sharing how you can use the power of messaging apps to make someone smile!
1. Give a Call If You Can
Remember that it’s not always easy to get the right tone across in text messages. Calling them would help you show how you really feel and support them, and it would also help you figure out what they need help with and how they are feeling. It’s not always possible to make or receive calls, but in this case, a call should be chosen over a text.
2. Send a Real Text Message
Don’t let yourself think that it’s not enough, so don’t send a message at all. People remember those who weren’t there for them when things went wrong. Don’t be that guy. Get in touch with me in any way you can.
3. Tell the Truth
If you want to be honest, you can start your text with “I don’t have the words” or “I don’t know what to say to you.” This shows that you are trying to help them. Many people give them false hopes, but it can ruin their personality, so be gentle but truthful.
4. Focus on Them
Your friend is having a. They do not need to hear that your microwave is broken and your boss is a fool at this very moment. If they ask, you can share, but only after asking yourself, “Is this really a problem right now?”
5. Don’t Say Clichés
Right now, stay away from the bad clichés, political views, and religious speeches. If the person you’re talking to doesn’t like hearing that their parent or dog has “gone to a better place,” or “is needed in heaven,” or that “it’s the government’s fault,” or “there’s plenty more fish in the sea,” then you shouldn’t say those things. It won’t help them feel better.
6. Show That You Know What They Mean
Say, “I understand what they are going through right now,” if you’ve been through it before,” or “I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now” if you haven’t. Now, put yourself in their place. What would you want or need to hear from your friend?
7. Say Sorry For the Loss
Keep it short and easy. “I’m sorry you lost xyz.” “This must be a really tough time.” That’s because when someone is already feeling low, they don’t need your long paragraphs. So, say the words that matter and give them a shoulder to cry on.
8. Look at How Funny They Are
Like point 5, think about how funny the other person is before you start giving them funny gifs, memes, or texts with too many emojis. Also, make sure you know what the emojis you send mean. I promise that can be awkward! Of course, making things funnier can help, but be careful right now.
9. Offer to Help
You should let them know that you are “there for them” and “thinking of them.” You should also offer to help them in any way you can. It’s great when people offer to help but go the extra mile and do it yourself. For example, “I’ll be by the store first thing in the morning; let me know what I can get for you.” Or, “Tomorrow I’ll bake a cake and bring it to your door.”
If you know what they need (like having their dog walked, watched, their house cleaned, food made, etc.), just make it happen and let them know you’ll take care of it. They don’t have to worry about that anymore.
10. Do Something Else
So, the text message is enough for now. Tell them or ask them that you will call them tomorrow or next week to follow up or set up a time to visit that works for them. When you call, follow up, or see someone, make sure you ask them if it’s okay and then do it. Make a note in your calendar to remember.
11. Give Ideas for Fun Things to Do
Encourage them to do things they enjoy, like reading their favorite book, watching a movie, or starting a new sport. Because you’ve read, watched, or done something yourself, you can make suggestions.
12. Send Someone a Hug
A simple virtual hug or an emoji can sometimes show comfort, love, and a sense of being connected.
13. Talk about Their Accomplishments
Bring up their past accomplishments and remind them of what they can do. This will boost their confidence and remind them of how valuable they are.
Things Not to Do When You Text Someone to Cheer Them Up
As you try to make someone feel better through text, there are some things that might not be helpful or friendly. When you text someone to make them feel better, don’t do these things:
· Playing down how they feel
Don’t brush off or minimize their feelings; doing so can make them feel like their experience isn’t real and that you don’t understand them.
· Giving advice without being asked
Instead of offering answers right away, try to understand and listen first. Giving help without being asked for can come off as rude or too much.
· Using over-used words
If you say things like “Everything happens for a reason” or “Just stay positive” too often, they may not feel real and won’t help their specific situation.
· Adding their own experience to those of others
Do not tell them that things could be worse or compare their problems to those of other people. Every person’s experience is real, and downplaying it could make them feel like their feelings aren’t acceptable.
· Being too happy or acting fake
Although being positive is important, acting fake or being too happy may come across as condescending. Be real and honest in your words.
· Telling them to move on
It’s not helpful to tell someone to “get over” or “snap out of” their sadness or depression. It can be very upsetting. Instead, try to understand and help them.
· Texting too much or putting too much pressure on an answer
Give them room and time to think about how they feel. Sending them a lot of texts at once or expecting an answer right away may make them feel more stressed.
· Talking about bad things
Talking about bad or upsetting things shouldn’t happen unless the other person says they want to. Instead, have talks that are upbeat and positive.
· Making it about you
When you want to make someone feel better, you should keep your attention on them. Do not talk about yourself or take the focus off of how they are feeling during the chat.
· Not respecting their limits
Be aware of their comfort level and respect their limits. Respect their wishes if they don’t want to talk about certain things or need some space.
What To Do When You You’re Sad
Sometimes, you spend a lot of time and energy trying to make other people happy. Remember that you deserve the same for yourself. Maybe you’re having a bad day and need some extra love. You can always take a moment to think about how you’re feeling. Now, take a few deep breaths and think about what you need. Here are four things you can do to make yourself feel better:
- Ask a family member or best friend to talk to you.
- Talk to a doctor.
- Talk to your boss about what’s making you unhappy at work if it’s getting off of hand.
- You can better explain how you feel and ask for what you need if you write it down.
How to Make Yourself Feel Better
If you’re feeling down one day, maybe you don’t want someone to help you. Okay, let’s get some help. You could start with “happy hormones,” which are serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphin. When you want to feel better, here are three ways to make your body make more of each hormone:
- For less cortisol, eat some dark chocolate.
- Make a meal you love at home.
- Fun music makes you want to dance, sing, and laugh, so go for it.
- Have fun with a pet you love.
- Take care of yourself at the spa on a day off.
- Have a hot drink, like tea.
- Exercise will raise your heart rate, so go ahead.
- Eat things that are spicy.
- Write down how you feel in a book.
How do you send a comforting text message?
You should acknowledge their pain and ask them what you can do for them. In most cases, they just want someone around to help them.
Is giving emotional support possible over texts?
Yes, it is possible, but you've to choose the words wisely. For instance, you should say that you understand and validate their feelings. In addition, you should offer a few virtual hugs.
What is a comfort message?
A comforting message is something that makes someone feel peaceful when they are low. You can wish them strength in these messages. In addition, you can wish them moments of peace.
The Bottom Line
Knowing how to comfort someone over text is a huge deal. That’s because one might feel off at times, and visiting them isn’t an option. For this reason, you should know the right ways and words. Even if you didn’t, we are sure you have a bit of an idea now. So, are you ready to become a comfort friend?